I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
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