Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Randomize
