Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Randomize
