Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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