his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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