spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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