Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
