shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
