Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
