why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
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