Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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