So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
