I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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