I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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