The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
