brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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