I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
