you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Randomize
