I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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