Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
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