After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
