He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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