what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
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