i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
