Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
