you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
