Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
