I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Randomize
