I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
