and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
