i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
You're earring is so big in my mouth
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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