look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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