It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
