He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
