ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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