how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize