Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
