it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
