While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
