Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
