How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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