In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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