What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
