Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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