Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
It's rum buckets o'clock
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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