the new term for farting is butt boxing.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
