I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
