we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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