I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
