he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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