She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I take back everything I said about communal showers
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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