Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
