I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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