I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
