Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
