if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
