yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
