I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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