So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
