Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Randomize
